07: O’Malley

O'malley, Mucoepidermoid sarcomA, Basil Cell sarcomA

How did you find out you had Cancer?

I was diagnosed by an oral surgeon. I was never symptomatic except for my tumor in my lip. In December 2014, I had my wisdom teeth taken out and showed the lump to my surgeon. I had a cold that day and they decided not to put me under anesthesia. I had my wisdom teeth taken out and the lump biopsied and was told that it was malignant.

It all happened in the summer while I was home for school break.

I went to my post-op check about my wisdom teeth. I should have known something was wrong, because they took me to this office.

Didn’t have anyone with me, of course, because I didn't know anything bad was going to happen. I was just completely shocked. I kept asking questions.

“This is a sarcoma”, and he said, “Do you know what that means?”

The doctor was really nervous.

I asked the doctor if I should see an oncologist.

“If you were my sister, yes.”

I asked the doctor if I should get a scan of my whole body.

“If you were my wife, yes.”

How did you approach making decisions about your care?

I told my mom first. We went to Yoga. I made decisions with my family, my mother and brother.

I said, “I won’t go to the doctor for awhile. Just because I have a cancerous tumor does not mean that I have Cancer.” I was really busy at the time - interning, working, going to Austria in the fall … DENIAL.

The shit no one talks about?

Juxtaposition between salivary gland cancer and basil cell skin cancer.

“It’s so great that you can’t tell!” — This was hard to hear.

Because I didn’t have chemo or radiation, people couldn’t understand how I had hair. I didn’t feel “Cancer-y” enough but I also didn’t feel like a totally normal, healthy person.

With skin cancer, no one can ignore it and it is getting more attention because they can see it.

Do you recall any specific meaningful or valuable moments, or stories from during treatment?

I was very emotional — everything was kind of heightened.

“I don’t want to die, I love everything!”

Bad moments were heightened — going to Chipotle with mom after an appointment and mom says, “I wish it was me instead”.

Interactions with brother “oh, because of the Cancer” as a joke.

I never appreciated life as much as I do now.

Knowing that people loved you that much.

Year of last treatment, unknown