10: Massman

Massman, Ewing sarcoma

Pre-Diagnosis

Lacrosse was my big thing to do. I was pretty active - I did football and lacrosse, swimming, golf, tennis.

I loved opening the newspaper and reading all the sports stats.

I was a sophomore in high school. At first, doctors thought I had a bone infection. They started having me take these big pills for a bone infection for 6-8 weeks. I had made the Varsity lacrosse team as a freshman with only one other kid. I was just pissed off that I couldn't play lacrosse!

When I went in for an orthopedic check-up, they ended up finding the Cancer.

Describe the day you were diagnosed

I was with my parents and I didn't go back to school that day. I didn't really want to talk to my friends. I remember getting home and sitting on the couch and that's probably the last thing I remember from the day.

How was your Cancer treated?

Chemo, radiation, stem cell transplant and surgery.

Around Thanksgiving, they harvested it. Very similar to a bone marrow transplant. They have that big machine next to you, they stick it in the jugular and they circulate it out, take the stem cells out, pump them right back in and freeze them for five months.

They do the stem cell harvest after 2-3 months of treatment when they think all the Cancer cells are gone. After the stem cell harvest, I had more treatment and then surgery two months later in February.

Around the beginning of March, they call it the “Super Chemo”, they try to nuke all of your cells, even the healthy cells because they're going after the dormant cancer cells and that's when they pump your own stem cells back in. I was in the hospital for 28 days. The entire month of April. Mine kicked in fairly quickly, after Day 12.

I went 7 or 8 days without eating anything.

My mom used to have a competition with me when I did start drinking - it'd be little Dixie cups of Gatorade.

My favorite thing about what they actually did in Transplant is, someone had given a grant to the hospital and they basically allow you to earn money while you're in there - not money you can keep but money you can spend on things. You'll have daily points (7-10 things per day) and you'll get points for things like taking all of your medicine - they kind of put a little dollar and put your face on it. I bought my brothers' graduation presents because they were seniors in high school. I bought one a Fat Head and another a t-shirt.

What was the hardest part of the experience for you?

The appearance part. You lose your hair. I never shaved my head, I just let it fall out naturally.

It’s not when you lose your hair, it’s when you lose your eyebrows.

I spent my 16th birthday in the hospital, my parents brought my dinner. I spent New Years Eve in the hospital.

If somebody was just diagnosed with Ewing Sarcoma and asks you for advice, what would you say?

It makes you appreciate the little stuff. I would just like it when family would come and hang out or Just sit with friends and watch TV. You don’t really take stuff for granted anymore. It changes your outlook on life.

I’m probably one of the more laid back people I know because I don’t get caught up in the little things.

How would you define the word survivor, and do you associate yourself with that term?

At first, I hated it. I didn’t want to be a part of it and didn’t want to be a part of that group. Now, it probably doesn't define me as much as it may others.

I’ve never been too fond of the word “survivor” because I don’t view it as an accomplishment, I see it more as a speed bump.

I tell people it’s my least favorite year I’ve ever had, but at the same time it’s my favorite year, because of what it taught me about myself, my friends, my family and my life in general.

The experience made me better.